Fiction Fragment Friday
As I have mentioned before my dreams are strange, extremely vivid, and often a source of inspiration. With this story I hoped to capture just a bit of that insane energy that comes from my sleeping mind. There are aspects of actual dreams I had last night worked into this story. Personality however is all from my waking mind trying to channel that sensation of surreality.
A very refreshing nap in my recliner was interrupted by an obnoxious knocking sound coming from my kitchen. Glancing around I found my pets were all still fast asleep around the living room meaning none of them could be causing the sounds. With a groan I pulled myself to my feet and tossed my nice comfy throw blanket to the side. I could hear my knee popping as I stood but found there was surprisingly less pain than usual from it. Happy I had something positive to focus on, I made my way into the kitchen. The knocking sound was clearly coming from the refrigerator.
I opened the refrigerator door and had to step back as a young blonde woman crawled out from the second shelf. She looked to be in her mid-twenties and extremely flexible. Glancing back the items on the second shelf had been pushed to the side but were all still there and no matter how flexible there was not room for a grown woman to fit on the shelf. “Oh, banana pudding,” she said as she reached back into the shelf, she had crawled from to pull out a pudding cup. “Hey, can I get a spoon for this?” When I did not immediately reply she started riffling through my cabinet drawers until she found the utensils. “Never mind I’ve got it.” This strange woman then leaned against my counter, peeled off the foil top, and started eating my last pudding.
“What?” I admit it was not my most brilliant response to an out of the ordinary situation.
She tossed the empty pudding cup across the kitchen and it landed perfectly in the trashcan. Her voice was a bit muffled because the spoon was still hanging out of it when she started talking again. “Such a broad question. Could mean so many things. Can’t talk yet though, they might be listening.” She started searching my kitchen for something not bothering to put anything back in its place after. “Aha. Knew it.”
She pulled a tiny skull shaped item made out of some sort of gel like material. Setting it on the counter she started bashing the skull with a large, pointed rock. I didn’t see where she got the rock, but I knew I didn’t have any in my kitchen. Her hands were empty one moment and holding a rock in the next. As the gel shredded under the assault I saw a tiny circuit board underneath it. She pulled out two microSD cards from the board and held them out to me. “Here hold these. I figured you might want to see what they recorded.” Once I had taken them, she bashed the circuits making sure to hit every microchip on it. “Gotta make sure we destroy the memory chips. There all better now we can talk. So, what were you saying?”
“Who are you?” I asked. It was a better question, but didn’t quite encapsulate my confusion.
“I’m Michelle, but no, that wasn’t what you asked. What was it? What could you have possibly asked? Oh yeah you asked what? Hmm. Sorry need more details. What what are you wanting to know?”
My head was spinning trying to sort everything out so I blurted more questions out before thinking about them. “Who are you, what is going on, and where did that come from?” I wasn’t sure if I was asking about the rock, the listening device, or both.
“We already covered who and I still need to know what what. You added where now you just need when and why to have the complete set.”
“Complete set?”
“Who, what, where, when, and why. The five Ws. Then you can be a reporter. You’d be a really bad reporter. Oh sorry didn’t mean to insult you. I’m sure there are a lot of things you would be good at. Just not that.”
“AHHH!!!” I screamed. Again, not the most intelligent response I have ever given to a strange situation. Everything was happening so fast I couldn’t focus my thoughts.
“Well, that was rude. You made me like you only to go and do a thing like that? I really am a horrible judge of character.”
I tried to compose myself. “How did you get into my kitchen?”
“Through your refrigerator. You were there. I knocked and you opened the door.” She grabbed box of chocolate chip cookies from my counter and started eating one. “Hey, you got any milk?” She walked over to my refrigerator, opened the door and pulled out a nearly empty gallon of milk. After making a show of checking the expiration data and shrugging her shoulders she grabbed a coffee mug from the cabinet and filled it up. Again, she leaned on the counter this time dipping a chocolate chip cookie in her mug of milk. “That’s more like it.”
“I’ve gone insane. I’ve had a nervous breakdown and lost my mind.”
“Oh, insane isn’t so bad. It’s kinda fun actually. Embrace the crazy. That’s what I always say.” She dumped the leftover milk down the sink and set the mug down.
“Are you just going to leave that there? It needs to be rinsed out and put in the dishwasher.” With everything that was happening I don’t know why that was my last straw, but it was. There is a way things are supposed to be done and she wasn’t doing it.
“Oh my now who’s the rude one. Me I reckon. Sorry bout that.” She rinsed out the mug and put it in the dishwasher like I had asked. “There, all better?”
“Thank you. Now why are you in my kitchen?”
“Well because that’s where your refrigerator is. Also, where that listening device was. Wouldn’t do me much good to crawl out of your living room closet if I just had to come in here after now would it?” She patted me on the cheek with her right hand twice.
“Do you climb through refrigerators often or is this a one-time thing? Can anyone else come through my refrigerator?”
“Nah just me. There are regulations against things like that. Don’t see me caring though. Never met a regulation I didn’t want to break.” Just then there was what sounded like a microwave ding coming out of my refrigerator. “Oh that’s my pizza rolls. Hey it’s been fun but I gotta go. Can’t let um go cold you know?”
“That would be disappointing,” I said at this point just going with it. “Will I ever see you again?” I asked not really sure which answer to hope for.
She opened the refrigerator door and started climbing back in. Only her head was still visible, nestled between the margarine tub and a case of sodas. “Never know. It’s a strange world after all.” Her head disappeared to the back, but her arm came out and grabbed the door, pulling it shut.
“Stranger today than yesterday.” I reached for the door to the refrigerator, but stopped with my hand inches from the handle. “Nah,” I said and headed back into the living room. My pets were awake now and had knocked over the living room trashcan. They were frolicking in the fast-food wrappers just as happy as could be. “Finally something normal.”